It’s easy to make connections, even if you’re an introvert. But not everyone we deal with will respond to us. We have our criteria. Over time, we become more aware of them.
I am the type of person who puts a strong emphasis on development. I’ve had this attitude for as long as I can remember. I learned to read and write when I was 3 years old. I was and still am curious about the world. I observe, research, draw conclusions. I respect my time, which is why I have a strong reluctance to perform activities that are not uplifting, inhibiting, destructive, or monotonous and lack developmental. A great way to prevent such situations is to listen to podcasts, e-books, lessons at the same time, while doing activities that I cannot avoid – moving around, preparing meals, etc. So I never go outside without headphones, and during a longer trip – two pairs. headphones, charger and sometimes also a power bank.
Therefore, I select the people around me. I love intelligent, interesting people, open to learning and experience. Respect for the other person is crucial – we do not force ourselves to change our beliefs, we do not criticize decisions or actions. We understand that everyone has their own path, speed and ways of knowing. However, I am not interested in very mundane issues, such as family, parties, alcohol, recipes, fashion, romance. This is definitely not my world. I touch it, but it doesn’t absorb me. However, I am absorbed in areas related to cognition, discovering the meaning of existence and mechanisms of action. I surround myself with people who are as fascinated by it as I am. Who try to understand how the world and universe works. Who are not afraid to stumble, fall, explore. Who are not afraid to say their opinion. For whom honesty is natural.
I noticed that in relationships focused on ambition, we rarely use terms categorizing the type of such relationship, and we do not force ourselves to maintain regular contacts. Mutual desires develop such friendships. This is perfect in my opinion.
Being a strongly independent person with a strong need for freedom and space, it is important for me not to establish deeper bonds with others. For me, it is natural to have no greater attachment. However, not everyone is like that. More emotional and sensitive people may feel unnecessary discomfort when they lack sufficient attention. I have experienced this many times, so when I meet new people, I observe from the corner of my eye whether they have a similar approach to mine, whether they are looking for depth. When someone is looking for depth, I prevent it by cutting off the conversation in advance or speaking directly about my approach.
Fortunately for me, in today’s world it is easier to find individualists. One-off meetings are becoming more and more popular. Sapiosexuality is no longer a foreign concept. So I am understood by a relatively large part of society. It also turns out that many people lead a lifestyle similar to mine.
I wanted to become an IT specialist precisely because, as a child, I heard mocking slogans about individual entities such as IT specialists. Memes about IT specialists made me feel like I belonged to this group of people. Before, as a 15-year-old, I decided to go to an IT technical school, I took a test to determine the characteristics of a real IT specialist. I had a 98 percent score.
It may seem that it is difficult for people like me to make friends. Nothing could be further from the truth. However, we must bear in mind that it is easy to form the opinion of others as a mechanical person, with a high ego, unemotional, striving to achieve the goal, self-absorbed, etc. This is how we are seen by more emotional people who expect commitment, attention, romance, tenderness. , but they wrongly looked at us, instead of someone closer to themselves.