I think I have already experienced the most difficult symptoms of awakening. They were not as frightening as in the posts of deeply religious people. I have the impression that it is because the institution of the church creates blockages. The more blockages there are, the more difficult the process is.
Currently, I am at a stage that is more pleasant than burdensome. I no longer experience feelings of shame, guilt, regret, fear, desire, anger, or pride. Now, I am calm, happy, loving, and grateful. I see truth and falsehood. I see my role.
Severe fatigue would occur on certain days, indicating the need for regeneration and realignment. Now, I have entered a phase that requires even more rest. I meditate in almost every free moment. My eyes close on their own, and I become semi-conscious or completely disconnected. During the day, I feel distinct fatigue. Coffee and other healthy stimulants no longer work. I simply have to surrender to the transformation.
I am joyful about this transformation. Its effects are already amazing at this stage! They exceed my previous expectations. And yet, there is always room for more – even greater and deeper!
With each passing day, I perceive more and more. I see past mistakes and the purposefulness of events. Everything fits together like a puzzle. The awareness I am gaining is a wonderful gift. I am immensely grateful for it!
How to reconcile daily life with spirituality? There is more and more spirituality, and less and less of the ordinary. The number of acquaintances is significantly decreasing. In certain situations, there simply are no deeper topics. And the deeper topics inevitably lead to spirituality, where I could easily be misunderstood by many.