Grounding is essential for functioning. I continue to realize just how important it is.
The past weeks have been unfolding with a sense of heaviness. Mentally, I feel well, yet physically it varies. My body reacts very intensely to everything that happens around me. To such an extent that I have limited my access to media even more. I have reduced contact with others to the necessary minimum. Yet I cannot withdraw from the world entirely. I know this state is temporary.
After a rather difficult Thursday, at dawn on Friday my friend and I set off for the seaside. It is interesting that we are experiencing similar processes at the same time. This allows us to understand each other more deeply and support one another. By morning we had already reached the sea, and immediately all tension left us. We felt light, content, and free. A beautiful feeling. The sun and the calming presence of the sea were restoring our energy.
What surprised me was the situation on Saturday, and its effects. I am very sensitive energetically and have a strong sensitivity to motion. I prefer not to define it as an illness, as I do not perceive it that way. I respond to sudden movements and rapid changes in pressure. When a driver operates a vehicle in a nervous and chaotic manner, I feel it immediately and my body reacts. When the driver is calm, gentle, and moves smoothly, I do not experience discomfort.
On Saturday afternoon, we boarded a bus for a short ride of only a few kilometers. The driver was driving very abruptly. My body reacted quickly. Everything rose to my throat, my abdomen tightened, and my body became tense in a way I had not experienced before.
As soon as we got off, I felt it had happened just in time. I felt very weak and close to vomiting. I needed to walk it off. A gentle wind helped restore some vitality, yet I was surprised by a strong pain across my entire back. Before my awakening, I experienced lower back pain for many years, which affected my sleep and daily comfort. However, I had never felt such an intense, evenly distributed pain across my whole back, neck, and shoulders. It felt as if I were carrying a rigid shell, a blockage that was deeply painful. Although my backpack contained only water, it felt very heavy. I shifted it to the front to relieve my back, yet the sensation remained unchanged. Over the next hours, the pain did not subside. I tried stretching while walking through a museum, yet this also brought no relief. Even at night, I felt discomfort and woke up due to the pain.
The following day, the pain disappeared completely, yet a deep fatigue appeared. Sleep, which has restorative qualities, helped release the tension. The fatigue, however, indicated that the process of restoration was still ongoing. Sunday was active and pleasant, yet the return journey passed with a strong need to lie down and recover.
On Monday, despite being at work in the office, I felt very tired throughout the day, almost absent. It was a demanding day in terms of focus and performing tasks, as my body was clearly asking for rest and regeneration.
Only on Tuesday did I feel a return of vitality, which stood in strong contrast to Monday.
This experience allowed me to see that the process of awakening continues to unfold. Mentally, I have reached a stable calm. Physically, however, my body responds with increasing intensity. It now clearly directs my behavior and choices. Just as energetic states would previously require me to lie down, now my body clearly indicates that I should avoid intensity, nervousness, chaos, noise, and restlessness. The reactions are too strong to ignore.
It is difficult to predict situations and how others will behave. I therefore choose environments that are familiar and carry a low likelihood of triggering strong reactions.
My body guides me toward stability and predictability. It feels vital when I care for it, when I maintain calm and allow movement. It contracts when the environment lacks clarity and coherence.
My body shows me patterns and teaches me how to act. It has always done so, yet for a long time I did not recognize it or I overlooked the signals. Now the responses are so clear that disregarding them leads directly to discomfort.
A tense body requires grounding. Sleep, rest, relaxation, nature, sunlight, and the sea all support this process. Iodine had a very beneficial effect. The situation on Saturday showed, however, that being by the sea alone is not sufficient. Challenging situations can still arise, and the return to full vitality is not immediate.
I intend for this process to accelerate. That is my direction and my focus.