The existence of karma – the law of cause and effect that always returns to us – is, to me, self-evident. Yet sometimes I find myself wondering: who is the one working through karma, and who is the one through whom that karma is being fulfilled?
This reflection is rooted in my current situation. Instead of celebrating the realization of one of my greatest dreams, I find myself feeling deeply drained by someone whose actions seem to be driven not by love, but by the pursuit of personal gain.
At first, I wondered whether this was my own karma to work through. However, I received no confirmation of that- not in meditation, not in dreams, nor through any other form of inner guidance. Gradually, I began to see the situation from a different perspective: perhaps I am the karma.
From where I stand today, my intention is to resolve everything peacefully. I spend a great deal of time meditating with the intention of filling this situation with love, peace, and harmony. Yet this has continued for nearly two months, and I cannot deny that it has been draining my life force and vitality.
Before spiritual awakening, we all have much inner work to do. We carry karmic patterns that need to be resolved. Immediately after the initiation of awakening, profound transformations often take place, serving a deeply purifying purpose. That process, too, can be difficult and exhausting. However, five and a half years after a spiritual awakening – when one has already entered a different stage of relating to both life and the world – a situation marked by such intense resistance and an unwillingness to let go on the other person’s part feels rather surprising.
There have been several instances in my life where people became deeply attached to me, and at times I spent years trying to free myself from those connections. In those cases, however, the attachment was emotional. My current situation is different. It is centered on material concerns.
Material attachment resonates at a lower level of consciousness. When money and aggression become the guiding priorities in someone’s life, it reflects a limited level of spiritual development. There is so little love and understanding present that reaching mutual understanding becomes extraordinarily difficult.
Why has this experience appeared in my life now? Is it a theme that belongs in the book I am currently writing? I believe it is. I believe that may be its purpose. Nothing happens by chance.
If I am the karma in this situation, then I cannot allow myself to be drawn into the other person’s lower vibrations. My role is to elevate the energy of the experience.